📚 No Bad Parts Book Club - Week One

2 days ago
4 min read

First, thank you for your patience! I'm a little behind getting this week's post out. My goal is to get Week 2 posted by the end of this week, but it may end up arriving during our break/catch-up week next week instead.

A quick reminder of the reading schedule:

• June 1–7: Introduction to Chapter 2 (pix–48)

• June 8–14: Chapters 3–6 (49–106)

• June 15–21: Break/Catch-Up Week ☀️ 💤

• June 22–28: Chapters 7–9 (107–158)

• June 29–July 5: Chapters 10–Conclusion (159–190)

In other words, we're aiming for roughly 7 pages/day if reading daily over 4 weeks, or about 5–6 pages/day if spreading it over the full 5 weeks.

Alright, lets dig in!

WEEK ONE: June 1–7

Forward/Intro to Chapter 2 (pix–48)

Foreword

...by Alanis Morissette, which is rather fun!

She seems to speak about mindfulness, spirituality, and self-compassion in a framework that is OK but I wonder if it doesn't seem all that accessible or relateable to most...

Introduction

Right away, I'm noticing some familiar themes. The way Schwartz describes the "Self" feels very similar to ideas discussed in The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav, particularly around mindfulness, self-compassion, and a deeper core self.

One line I immediately highlighted, especially as Elon Musk became the first trillionare today, the horrors of the Trump presidency continue... this line feels poignant::

"Such mindless striving—of people or countries—usually leads to a crash of some sort." (p.2)

YUP. Ok, now onto IFS...

Chapter 1: We're All Multiple

"We think we should be able to discipline our primitive, impulsive, sinful minds through willpower." (p.10)

This is definitely a belief I've seen countless clients come into therapy holding—and then gradually work to unlearn.. That idea connects nicely to another quote that felt particularly important:

"We often find that the harder we try to get rid of emotions and thoughts, the stronger they become." (p.11)

In many ways, this gets at the heart of so much emotional work. This is why suppression and avoidance, when they become our primary coping strategies, tend to keep us stuck.

This idea shows up across so many therapy modalities: the harder we fight certain thoughts, feelings, or urges, the more entrenched they often become.

As soon as Schwartz started describing the origins of IFS, I found myself nodding along.

It doesn't surprise me at all that the roots of IFS, or exploring "parts," came from his work with clients with eating disorders (p.14). Parts work is inherent in eating disorder treatment—sometimes referred to as "externalizing the eating disorder."

I honestly can't imagine understanding eating disorders without understanding that many different emotions, thoughts, feelings, and urges are often happening concurrently and that all the different parts of us are trying to keep us safe...I also grimaced at the author describing telling clients to argue with the eating disorder... Ooof. No kidding that was a bad call. AND, I'm sure that approach still happens sometimes in treatment spaces where providers don't have specialized eating disorder training.

One thing I really don't like is the author's use of terms like "bulimic" and "addict." This is a fairly recent book (2021), and that's a pretty outdated and problematic way of merging someone's diagnosis with their identity. Yes, some people choose to identify that way, but outside of that context, it shouldn't be used the way he uses it here. They are people with eating disorders or substance use disorders.

A question for the group: did you do the guided exercises?

I have both the physical book and the audiobook, so I found it helpful to put the book down and listen to the exercises instead.

That said, I found the exercises just OK. Not particularly capitvating or moving or engaging.

Personally, I find this type of exploration much more powerful within the context of a therapy session—for both my clients and myself when I'm working with my own therapists. Outside of that setting, they felt a bit less impactful. --- what did you think?

Onto Chapter 2...

Chapter TWO: Why Parts Blend

This chapter dives straight into another longer mindfulness/IFS practice.

Again, it was alright, but it didn't particularly resonate with me and felt a bit lengthy. That may be more about my own preferences than anything else—I generally struggle with longer guided meditations and mindfulness practices.

Once we got through that section, though, it felt like we finally started getting into the actual nuts and bolts of IFS, which honestly had me thinking... finally?

I am also disappointed that, when discussing trauma and addictions, he referenced only two white men in the field (Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Maté). UGH. Come on!

This book was published in 2021. There are SO many other important voices and perspectives that could have been highlighted. <end rant>

A quote worth emphasizing, and in my opinion one of the key takeaways from parts work:

"Parts are little inner beings who are trying their best to keep you safe." (p.36)

This sits at the heart of a lot of eating disorder work, particularly around externalizing the eating disorder and becoming curious about what purpose it may be serving.

Session One: Sam

At this point, I was relieved to get into an actual case example.

Right away, it's clear this work is happening within the context of a specific situation and/or traumatic experience.

This made me pause again around the self-guided exercises.

Depending on what someone chooses to explore, I do worry that doing this work alone could bring up some very overwhelming emotions or trauma responses that may not feel safe or manageable without support. At this point, I continue to feel that this type of work is generally best done with another person rather than simply reading about it.

That said, we're still early in the book, so I'm curious to see whether my perspective shifts as we go.

Also, I don't know if this is just because I'm a therapist, but this case example was by far the most engaging part of the book so far.

Curious what everyone else thought!

Did any of the exercises resonate with you?

Are you finding the "parts" framework helpful, confusing, validating, irritating, or something else entirely?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, and next up: Wk2: Chapters 3–6 (49–106)

I'll get Week 2 posted as soon as I can.

Until then, happy reading! 📖