📚Fierce Self Compassion: Week 2

Who’s still with me?

If you started the book and then paused, don’t worry—you’re not behind! Next week is a catch-up week. These chapters are dense, and life is busy—give yourself permission to go at your own pace and also, I hope you keep reading with me!

This week, we’re covering Chapters 2–4 and wrapping up Part 1 of the book. Since Chapter 2 wasn’t covered in Week 1, it’s included here too.

🌸 Chapter 2 – “What’s Gender Got to Do With It?”

This chapter felt a little slower and more academic to me, probably because I’ve studied gender roles and sexism in depth. That said, the material is incredibly important. Reflecting on how gender expectations shape how we see ourselves and practice self-compassion is valuable for everyone.

At the end of the chapter, there’s a guided “Balancing Yin and Yang” meditation. No need to do it perfectly or for a set time—especially if you’re newer to mindfulness. **Scroll down this list of meditations until you find the Yin and Yang one, or do anything on this list that feels appealing!

Things to think about:

• Did this chapter feel new or more like a refresher?

• How did the tone feel—informative, challenging, or dense?

• Did you try the Personal Attributes Questionnaire (PAQ)? What did you notice?

• Did reflecting on gender expectations make you think about your own experiences growing up?

• Are you surprised (or not) that women tend to be less self-compassionate than men?

💬 I’d love to hear your thoughts—leave a comment or email me!

🔥 Chapter 3 – “Angry Women”

I really loved this chapter. I often talk about how important it is for women to name and express anger (in healthy ways), and Neff dives straight into that. She explores how women are socialized to suppress anger, how that suppression can undermine self-compassion and empowerment, and how anger can actually be a necessary part of fierce compassion.

I also loved these sentences (highlighted) and feel like they are worth a few re-reads :)

Neff also references Internal Family Systems (IFS), which i use at times with clients at times, and this is a great little book where you can read more: No Bad Parts—– if there is enough interest, we can add it to the short list of options for our next book club book! 

Reflection prompts:

• What did you think about Neff’s framing of anger as a form of caring—a signal that something we value is being threatened? How does this idea challenge more traditional views of anger?

• How do you typically respond when you feel anger—do you suppress it, express it outwardly, or channel it in another way? What factors influence that response?

• Neff suggests that reconnecting with our anger can actually enhance compassion rather than oppose it. Did that surprise you? How do you see the relationship between anger and compassion now?

And now, finally, onto…

⚠️ Chapter 4 – “Me Too”

Content note: This chapter covers sexual harassment and assault. Approach gently, or skip if now isn’t the right time.

This is a heavy but compelling chapter. Neff explores how self-compassion can support survivors and help us navigate collective trauma and systemic injustice.

For me, it really highlighted how healing and justice are deeply intertwined, and reminded me how important integrating the "common humanity" element of self-compassion is

Questions to reflect on:

• How did you feel while reading this chapter?

• What helps you take care of yourself after reading or discussing heavy topics like this?

💬 Your voice matters!

I’d love to hear your reflections on any or all of these chapters. Leave a comment below or email me your thoughts. Every insight helps make our book club richer and more supportive.

Happy reading,

Monica