💫 Fierce Self Compassion Book Club - Weeks 3 & 4

Hello 👋

Welcome back to our weekly dive into Fierce Self-Compassion! & Happy October! 🍂 How are we already two-thirds through the month (what?!)?

Whether you’re reading along with us, catching up, or just popping in for inspiration, this post will cover Chapters 5 & 6 — full of practical self-compassion strategies, thought-provoking reflections, and a little mix of fun connections and personal thoughts from me.

Let’s jump in! ✨

📘 This week... onto Part Two:

Chapter 5: Holding Ourselves Tenderly

Chapter 6: Standing Strong

💞 Chapter 5: Holding Ourselves Tenderly

This chapter opens with one of my favourite quotes from Tara Brach (definitely worth reading a few times):

“The way out of our cage begins with accepting absolutely everything about ourselves and our lives, by embracing with wakefulness and care our moment-to-moment experience.”

If you’d like to read more Tara Brach (or maybe want her on a future book club list 👀), here are two excellent options:

• Radical Acceptance

• Radical Compassion

🤔 Discussion Questions

• What are your thoughts or reactions to the statement:

  “With common humanity, I can see that behaviour isn't fully under my control.”

  • Do you agree? Disagree?

  • How much do you think diet culture has influenced the idea that health and related behaviours are fully within individual control?

• The chapter dives into emotions and pain — how resisting pain amplifies suffering. How did this resonate with your experiences of emotional or mental pain?

🧘‍♀️ Self-Compassion Break Practice

This is one of my long-time favourites — short, accessible, and powerful.🎧 Try it (or revisit it!) here: General Self-Compassion Break

😤😡 Things That Made Me Mad (& vent to my nearby coworkers):

• The reference to HIV as a “life-threatening disease” — it’s not. With effective ARV treatment, people with HIV often have longer life expectancy due to regular and comprehensive medical monitoring.

• The example about being “addicted to food” 🙄 — nope, you can’t be addicted to food (or air!).

• And using “self-compassion to restrict chocolate”? Oof. That’s a prime example of how deeply diet culture seeps in everywhere (UGH).

It’s frustrating when authors use nutrition-based examples without training in eating disorders or nutrition — it often distracts from otherwise solid insights and research.

💗 Practice Highlight: “Being with Difficult Emotions”

Another gem near the end of the chapter.🎧 Try it here: Soften, Soothe, Allow (Note: it’s about 15 minutes long — maybe a barrier for busy days, but worth it when you can make space!)

🐻 Motivation & Self-Compassion

Were you surprised by this?

“Research suggests that self-compassion increases rather than undermines the motivation to take personal responsibility for our behaviour.”

I feel like a broken record saying some version of the above quote often, so it was great to see it in print. Lets keep this reminder strong when doubt creeps in around leaning towards self compassion (instead of old faithful self criticism 🫶)

🌿 Chapter 6: Standing Strong

This might be my favourite chapter so far — and ironically, the one I have the least to say about!

I loved the smaller mindfulness practices sprinkled throughout, and as someone who’s always cared deeply about social justice, I found the focus on intersectionality and collective compassion absolutely perfect. 🙌

The “strong back, soft front” theme instantly reminded me of:

• Brené Brown’s Braving the Wilderness → “Strong backs, soft fronts, wild hearts.” 💖

• And (because my brain goes here) Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights:

  “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” 🏈

An odd mix, maybe — but both beautifully capture that balance of strength + softness this chapter explores.

⚡ Three Themes to Highlight

1️⃣ Anger as Information

How does your relationship with anger compare to Neff’s idea of “wise anger”?Can you think of a time anger helped you set a boundary or see something clearly?

2️⃣ Boundaries

How can boundaries be an act of compassion rather than rejection?What boundary could you hold more firmly — and how might self-compassion help you do that?

3️⃣ Voice and Power

When do you tend to stay silent or “play nice”?What would compassionate assertiveness look like in that situation?

💬 Reflection: These three themes really tie together the ideas of strength, softness, and self-compassion in action.

I’d love to hear which of these themes spoke to you most — or if one made you pause and think differently about yourself!

📸 Share Your Book Vibes!

If you have a physical copy of Fierce Self-Compassion, I’d love to see it in action! Snap a quick photo — maybe you and your book, a cozy coffee shop moment, or some fall vibes 🍁 — and tag me on Instagram. I’ll be re-posting and cheering on our little book club as we crush it together! 🎉