Fierce Self Compassion Book Club: Week 6-7

📚 Week 6–7 Overview

• Week 6 (Oct 27–Nov 2): Catch-up / Rest Week 🌿

• Week 7 (Nov 3–9): Part 3, Chapters 9–10

We’ve officially hit Part 3 of Fierce Self-Compassion — “Compassion in the World.”

Chapters 9 & 10 dive into how to bring compassion into our workplaces, relationships, and caregiving roles (without burning out). Think equity, boundaries, and empathy — with a dash of “why is this book a university class?” energy.

Goal: Finish the book and reflect on applying self-compassion in real life (we are getting so close!)

💼 Chapter 9: Balance and Equity at Work

Okay, so this chapter definitely feels like a university lecture — which tracks, since Kristin Neff is a professor. The research is fascinating and the content is important… but whew, it’s rather dry.

That said, it’s a really clear and well-researched explanation of why gender gaps and inequities persist in the workplace — especially when it comes to pay, recognition, and opportunities for women.

Fave 🎤 drops from this chapter:

• “Fierce self-compassion provides encouragement, the ability to learn from our missteps, and a clear vision of where we’re headed.” (p.242)

• “The use of encouragement rather than harsh criticism allows us to stand strong when we fail… so we can summon the grit and determination to keep trying.” (p.242)

How much do you agree with these statements so far? What gets in the way of applying this kind of encouragement in your own life?

💖 Chapter 10: Caring for Others Without Losing Ourselves

• Opens with Audre Lorde quote: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” (p.247)

• Big themes: burnout, boundaries, empathy, and the cost of care

🧭 “Is Your Caring Lopsided?” Quiz

• Take a minute to do the little quiz.... according to the book, a score above 3 = slightly lopsided

• Mine: 2.55555 → So I guess my boundary work around what I take on and what I don’t is pretty solid, which is an excellent thing given my job!

🪞 Reflection Prompt

• “Good deeds become tainted if they are used as a means to gain approval of others.” (p.252)

• Question: What is your immediate reaction to the above quote? And how does that apply to your own life?

🧘‍♀️ “What Do I Need Now?”

• The section under this title (p.256–257) is a gem — a practical way to apply self-compassion outside of purely meditation exercises. I highly recommend actually reading through the different ways to approach answering that question

💭 Thoughts on Empathy, Burnout, and “Equanimity”

Neff’s take on empathy vs. compassion didn’t totally resonate with me — I get where she’s coming from, but I don’t love framing them as opposites. Personally, I think compassion is central to empathy.

If you haven’t seen it, this short animated video by Brené Brown does a brilliant job explaining empathy (and how it differs from sympathy): 🎥 Brené Brown on Empathy

Also… I’m not wild about Neff's burnout discussion. My top pick for that topic will always be the book Burnout by Emily & Amelia Nagoski — it’s a total game-changer.

🌬️ On “Equanimity”

Story time: years ago, a friend and I did one of those 30-day yoga YouTube challenges. The instructor began by saying, very seriously, “Let’s cultivate a calm and equanimous mind.”

We immediately paused, googled “equanimous,” and laughed and mocked the word for a good five minutes. The word felt so out of place — what on earth? We just came here to stretch. 😆

To this day, whenever I see the word equanimity, I think of that moment. It also reminds me how academic or jargon-heavy language can alienate people — even when the concept itself is meaningful. In therapy (and honestly, in life), clear language just connects better.

🪴 Final Thoughts

Part 3 is asking us to bring compassion into the world — not just into our thoughts or meditations, but into how we live, work, and care for others. It’s both inspiring and a little intimidating.

How are you feeling as we near the end of the book? What’s been the hardest concept to actually live out so far?

⚡ TL;DR:

• We’re in Part 3!

• Chapters 9–10 cover gender equity, caring without burnout, and how not to lose yourself while being kind

• Also: equanimity = still sounds like an unnecessarily pretentious word 😆