And just like that, last Sunday I received an email from the Loch Ness Marathon exclaiming 12 weeks to go! What?! When did that happen?
12 weeks is NOT a lot of time when training for a Marathon. Most Marathon training plans are 16 weeks, and my preference is actually for 18-20 weeks. So, with NOW less than 12 weeks to go I am feeling VERY nervous about where I am at and how there is not much time at all to get to the distance and durations I want to hit before standing on that Marathon (42.2k) start line. I would feel MUCH better if I still had 16 weeks left… but I do not. So, all I can do now is try to embrace where I am at, stick to my plan so that I don’t get injured by doing too much too soon and keep showing up as best I can.
My 14 weeks to go was a bit of a disaster. No running happened at all. YIKES. I planned to get 2-3 runs in before leaving for Cape Scott and a hiking “weekend” on Wednesday. Alas, I underestimated both my fatigue levels and also just how much work it is to get all my gear and food organized and ready to jump in my car the second I was finished with clients Wednesday afternoon. My clinical work this week was heavy and hard and emotional. I also unexpectedly had to say goodbye to Max Wednesday afternoon before leaving for Cape Scott. A lot of tears were shed and I am still sad/can't actually believe he is gone. So, not a single run happened… definitely adding to my feelings of not being prepared enough with not much time left until the Marathon! In other news, my long weekend at Cape Scott Provincial Park was beautiful… so that is something. Not running, but something.
Back late Sunday night, tired from so much driving and still a bit sore from hiking, I wasn’t sure how my “13 weeks to go” week would turn out. I had dirty laundry and camping everywhere and my dad arriving in a couple of days to help do some work at my condo. AND a friend visiting from Toronto arriving Thursday. And my day job… which administratively I keep falling further and further behind in due to the hectic pace of each week and the challenge of running a household + running a business + trying to keep up with friends and family + marathon training + attempting to sleep and rest and maybe even do some things for myself this summer? Miraculously, with the run support of 3 runs with Stacie and 1 run with Kristy and 1 solo long run, I completed 5 runs, 2 strength training sessions and 2 short hikes amidst it all. Not too shockingly, the hunger and extreme fatigue have been immense as I rolled into…
12 weeks to go. Feeling sore and tired both from Marathon training and all the visitors (my dad, Maria & Christina + Caleb) last week, I did what I could to show up. An added challenge this week is that BOTH Stacie and Kristy were away so I had no run support this week. Just me and the minutes and miles ahead of me. That, and travel to Ladner Thursday after work. After a run and some strength training Monday I was too tired and sore so reluctantly accepted where I was at and tried to embrace unplanned rest days on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday, I fought to fit in a run en route to the ferry and Friday was yet another unplanned rest day, feeling too tired to rally. I ended up sleeping close to 10h per night and having close to an hour nap on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I did ultimately show up for my remaining runs on Saturday afternoon and then Sunday morning. I do NOT recommend an interval run in the afternoon before an early morning long run… but it is what it is and I got it done.
With consistency in showing up the last 2 weeks, and showing up for all solo runs last week, my nervousness about the full Marathon is easing up a bit. I am feeling really proud of my efforts and hopeful that in the next 4-8 weeks I will be building up to several 20+km runs, and hopefully at least 1-2 long runs that are in the 30-32km range before the runs ease up in the 1-2 weeks before the full Marathon. I think I am finally starting to see some ease return to my easy runs and maybe I am getting a smidge faster too? It’s hard to tell when Marathon training involves having tired legs most days of most weeks. I took Monday and Tuesday off running this week AND my legs didn’t yet feel rested when I headed out for my run today.
As I ran today, tired, sore, and a bit stiff, I enjoyed a slight breeze and several sections of delicious cool shade on the trail. I thought about how much pleasure I get from running and how at times over the past 11 years (I started running in 2011), I relied on willpower to show up for my race training, and how brutal relying on willpower alone is… and how often we think willpower is the only way. I hope you know it’s not. I hope you know that yes, there might be moments when chasing any goal is hard, uncomfortable and urges to quit are normal AND, I hope you know that you don’t need to force yourself into anything. Pleasure works better than willpower ever could.
As so breathless and exceptionally sweaty, I finished my run with a smile on my face and so much enjoyment of the people and sounds and sights of the trail I got to explore in my morning. It was already close to 10am when I got back to my car, I smiled, grateful for the flexibility I can enjoy being my own boss allowing me to sleep 10h last night, have breakfast and get out the door for my run at a relaxed pace. No rushing, no willpower to fight my alarm (I was amazingly awake before my alarm and enjoyed staying cosy in bed for quite a while, enjoying resting). Yes, flexibility of a later start time means working later tonight, and also, flexibility is such a beautiful gift on this random Wednesday in July.
Until next time,
Monica
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